ending and beginning again
Pastor Janine said that last Sunday, as she was driving home from worship at Zion, she felt in her chest a blossom of grief. So she turned up her car radio and said, "Not today."
Well, today is the day. Now we get to feel all those feelings we've been holding at bay. Turn off the distractions and be present in our bodies. This is the end of Pastor Janine's tenure on Zion's staff.
The psalms in their wisdom invite us to feel what we're really feeling and to express it. Take Psalm 38:
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.
O Lord, all my longing is known to you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart throbs; my strength fails me
This is what faithfulness looks and sounds like. Grief is love. Holding it in or denying it does little good. The path toward trust and hope starts with feeling and naming the loss. Don't be afraid.
Jesus calmed his disciples fears just before his departure. "Don't let your hearts be troubled. ... I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you." A sign of maturity is being able to feel two or more feelings at once. For example, grief at Pastor Janine's leaving and trust that Christ is with us. Or sadness for us and joy for Pastor Janine. I see this maturity in you all. Here is a steadiness like having two feet on the ground.
Pastor Janine is leaving Zion because she feels God calling her to new ministry. She told me once that she's looking forward to full-time ministry, not being pulled in two different directions by two difference congregations--like she has been, serving at both Calvary and Zion. And she went on to say, even if Zion offered her a full-time position, she would decline. Her work here is done. Zion didn't do anything wrong. We didn't disappoint her. To the contrary, she has nothing but love and gratitude for Zion. It's not about us; it's about God's call to her. I know you know this, but it doesn't hurt to say it outloud. God is doing a new thing, with Pastor Janine and with Zion.
What's next for Zion? Pulling together and pursuing the goals God's given us, and being patient about what exactly is next. Zion's congregational council is convinced Zion's outreach ministries are in a strong position with capable lay leadership. There is no urgent need to fill Pastor Janine's position. Zion's core outreach ministries will continue, thanks to you all and to Pastor Janine's good work. I'm convinced that Zion does not need another Director of Outreach; if Zion added another staff person, we'd do well to create a new position for the sake of different ministry priorities. Pastor Janine agrees. In a real way, she's spent the last three years working herself out of a job! Since it's more important that Zion do the right thing, rather than do something fast, Zion's leaders will wait for God to give us a clear vision of what should come next.
"I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ," wrote Paul to the Philippians. Let's live in this confidence, praying together:
Lord God, you have called your servants—Pastor Janine and Zion—to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
— Pastor Clark